IIM Ahmedabad

It was almost 9 PM and i was filling up the interview form of IIMA. Never in my wildest fantasies had i imagined that i would be doing this one day. Read the by-line of the blog.

After seeing that the dress, file and the brain were all polished i decided to get some sleep. The previous time i didn't get sleep was the night before the Engineering Maths -4 exam in my fourth semester of engineering. I was trying something which atleast i am not aware of anyone having pulling it off.

I threw the blanket aside, opened the cupboard door and unlocked the keypad of my mobile.1 30 AM was the time. I was just not able to sleep. I was not tensed but it was the occasion that was getting to me. I knew it would be a conversation of a lifetime and i was just hoping it would be remembered for good.

I had heard so much about the interviews of IIMA - Guys coming out and heading to the loo, Guys coming out and downing a jug of water, Guys coming out crying and Guys coming out with their egos hurt so badly that they wondered if they actually did anything worthwhile after they were born. Trust me every IIMA interview is a story in itself.

I didn't catch any sleep that entire night. The fact that the interview was in the afternoon didn't help my situation. The only fact that was keeping me cool was that my IIML interview had gone pretty decent and bad luck forbid i should be studying in an IIM.

At the venue i waited in the lobby and soon people started trickling in. Both the guys who were sitting besides me were 99.9ers. For once all 30 students were present. Two professors called out 10 names each. I wasn't in any of them. I started getting tensed and opened my interview letter to confirm the time and date. To miss an IIMA interview because of such reasons would be worse than the fact that you still lived after jumping from the top of a 100 storey building.

I was in the third group.7 out of the 10 guys in my group were IITians.

We went in and were made to sit in a semicircle on chairs which had writing pads ( like those in the kuch kuch hota hai movie). There was an Old Lady Professor(OLP), Very old Professor(VOP) and another old Professor(OP) sitting across a table in front of the semicircle of chairs.

OLP got up from her chair and said
"Please keep your admit cards and the form on top"

She walked past each of us checking the photo in the admit card and our faces.

VOP and OP nodded at her.

OLP:"Me?"

OP(with a smile):"Yes please!"

She got up again, smiled and said

"Ok, open that empty page of your interview form[There was a page that had to be left empty].Now you all will write an essay for 10 minutes"

The day when everybody got their Interview Letters, there was a sudden confusion. Unlike other B schools which told you have been shortlisted for GD and Interview, IIMA had told only shortlisted for interview. Printing mistake?. Or they have scrapped GD?.But how can they scrap GD?. Then everything on interview alone?. 'Fucked' was the only word on every mouth.

There was a white page stuck on the wall behind them. She went near it and ripped it.

It read "Variety is the spice of Life"

Wah!. Great.!

So i began. Cricket - Test, One day, T20. Cuisines - Indian, Chinese, Continental.
Entry procedures at Leading Institutes - Written exams, GDs, Interviews. My brain could run only as far in 10 minutes.

Once the 10 seconds got over, OLP collected all the forms.

OLP:"I want to see your work experience certificates and admit card on the first page of the file. All the interviews will be roughly for 20 minutes. The first and the second boy[me] can wait in the lobby outside. Rest of you , go down and sit."

As the first guy came out, he just smiled and went off. I was talking with him before he went in for his. An IITian, very sober and appeared very very intelligent.duh!.

I took three deep breaths, for the occasion was as great as landing on the moon and went in...

OP:"Give me your file" and pointed me towards the seat.

My interview form was with OLP.

VOP:"Please pull your chair close to the table"

I promptly did. so far so good.

VOP(with a smile):"So how are Mr Lalu Yadav and Mr Chidambaram important this week?"

VC:"Sir .. we have the railway budget and Union budget this week"

VOP:"So what do you think the budget will be like this year?"

VC:"Sir.. this being an election year, it will be populist in nature. I only hope they realise the mistake Mr Jaswant Singh did..."

And i had woken up the GODs!..

VOP(smiling):"Oh!.. what did Jaswant do?" and looks at OP and OLP. They nod their heads as they read my file and form.

It was already getting to me.

VC:"Sir he took some very people friendly measures like cutting down the excise duty from..."

I am cut short....

VOP:"Explain excise duty"

VC:"Sir , it is the tax levied on goods that are exported from India"

VOP(slowly):"Are you sure?" looks at OP and OLP again who again nod their heads.

I was right but then i started getting doubtful[they had been successful in their mission!].

VC:"Yes sir!"

VOP:Ok, what are the other types of taxes. which of them do you pay?"

VC:"Sir, direct and indirect taxes. I pay direct tax and some indirect tax also"

VOP:"What direct tax?"

VC:"Sir.. income tax"

VOP:"and indirect taxes?"

VC:"sir.. VAT and sales tax etc"

VOP:"Anything for your sector in budget?"

VC:"Sir they have decided to extend the TAX sops for the software sector for some more time"

VOP:"Does you company pay any tax anyways?"(Laughs and other profs join)

VC:"Yes sir.. corporate tax and the sops are given because its a sunrise sector"
[i had hit the axe on the foot. Very hard.]

VOP:"Sunrise sector? Who comes up with these names?"(Laughing exercise continues)

VC:"Sir i think its because they generate a lot of employment and revenue"

VOP:"Service sector generates far more revenue and manufacturing sector employs far more people. You only know jargon and don't know the real meaning as to why they are used"(Laughs out loud and ya other profs nod their head)

VOP:"So, have you filed income tax returns till now?"

VC:"yes sir, once.. i did it last year"

VOP(excited!):"Good!"[slides a paper and pen towards me]

God save me please!

VOP:"For your salary, calculate the income tax you would have paid according to last year's tax slabs"

man oh man!

I start by writing my salary and then

VC:"Sir.. i remove the standard deduction.. 1 lakh" [and write it]

OLP:"Which account do you have?"

VC:"Ma'am.. savings account"

OLP:"But do you do any savings... or just spend all the money!!" [ All profs again have a good laugh. Weird i know.]

VC:"Yes Ma'am... i do some savings and also invest in section 80c"

VOP:"Whats section 80c?"

I am sure even Mr Chidambaram and Mr Alhuwalia would have thrown a fit and walked off in rage had they been in my place!.

VC:"Sir a certain amount can be invested in Mutual Funds which have a lock in periods of usual 3 years and pay insurance premiums and invest in other government schemes and get tax rebates"

OP:"Ok... include these savings also and continue your calculations"[sigh]

Then after having made all deductions i assume some random tax percentage and calculate. It comes to some ridiculous amount. I know it was wrong. They were sure it was wrong.

OP:"Who filled the IT returns for you last year?"

VC(innocently):"Sir.. We have this CA who comes and does it for everyone"

OP(loudly!):"There you go! I knew it!" laughs loudly and looks at the other two professors who nod their heads and laugh.

OP:"Why cant you do it yourself? Lazy generation."

OP:"Ok... Do you know any management gurus?"

VC:"Sir... i have studied about Mr Maslow and Mr McGregor models"

OLP:"Oh no no!.... any recent people?"

VC:"Ammm.. no Ma'am!"

OLP:"None at all?" with a 'Is-this-guy-even-of-this-generation-which-is-exposed-to-so-
many-things' look?

VC:"Ma'am.. i do read Mr Seth Godin's and Mr Guy Kawasaki's blogs. Mr Godin is a marketing guru while Mr Kawasaki , a former apple evangelist is a Venture Capitalist now and also advises a lot of startups"
[She had not heard of these guys. Talk of luck]

OLP:"Have you heard of [some-name]?"

VC:"No Ma'am!"

OLP:"Have you heard of KPMG?"

VC:No Ma'am!" [Honestly i had not heard of KPMG then. Ok, for those of you like me its like Infosys of the Business world. No no, they pay much better salaries]

VOP:"ok.. any favorite CEO?"

VC:"Steve Jobs!"

VOP looks at OLP and says

"He is all yours!"

OLP:"Alright.... start"

I started talking about his early days.Steve Wozniak. Macintosh computers. His Euphoric rise. Him getting fired. Pixar. NEXT. And then back into Apple. Ipods.

I was expecting the most dreaded question which is usually asked when you talk of these CEOS[The most famous and the most successful ones are all school dropouts and not MBAs!]

"when he could do so much without an MBA... why would you want to do one if you aspire to be him?"

But they did not ask.

OLP:"Did you know that he even after he dropped out of the college , he stayed back and something very important happened.."

VC:"Ma'am.. he used to hang around the Calligraphy classes the knowledge of which he later incorporated into typographies and fonts in macintosh computers and which later came into Microsoft PCs"

OLP:"Good!" with an approving nod!.

Finally something!.

All this time OP was reading my poems[I had stuffed a printout of all the ones i had written in the file].I had written poetry as one of the hobbies in the interview form which was with OLP.

OLP:"So.. you are into poetry"

And at that very instant OP Passes the file open at pages which had this and this to OLP On the other end through VOP and says

"Madam... these are for you!" with a smile.

OLP starts reading them. A Brief moment of silence. She is done, looks up at me tilts her head to her right with her right hand on her right cheek covering it completely.

I could not control and burst out smiling.She looked at VOP and OP. OP smiles.

I had written that i also write fiction.

OLP:"So this fiction thing is also on this blog?"

VC:"Yes Ma'am!"

OLP:"Do you know of any famous Indian fiction writers?"

VC:"Vikram seth"

OLP:"which was his most recent book?"

VC:"Two lives"

OLP:"Which is his most famous work?"

VC:"A Suitable boy"

OLP:"There is one another book of his which is completely in the form of a poem. The entire book is in poems. Know which it is?"

VC:"No Ma'am!"

OLP:"Golden Gate... go read it... ok?"

VC:"Sure Ma'am!.. i will"

OP:"So what other things apart from poetry and fiction?"

I talked about the porcelain mugs which i had introduced in my business unit to reduce the wastage of paper in the form of paper cups. It was my manager's idea but i had executed it. I really thanked him for forcing me to do it. Concern for environment from an aspiring MBA really impresses the old profs. I had put pictures of the mugs and a group of my colleagues holding the mugs in the file. I also talked about another business idea i had. I am sorry i cant write it here.

OP:"So what do you work on?"

Talked in detail about my team. The product we build. The target customers. Our contribution to employer's revenues.

VOP was looking at his watch and nodded at OLP and OP and took over again.

VOP slid another paper towards me and a pen

Not again please!.

VOP:"Draw a graph which has a point whose first derivative is zero!"

No IIMA interview can be complete without Math. They just LOVE Math!.

I drew the curve of function f(x) = k, where k is any constant.

OP takes a look and says with smile..

"All points on this curve satisfy the condition!"

VOP:"Now draw another curve which has a point whose second derivative is zero!"

I drew the curve of function f(x) = x.

OP with a smile says...

"Again... all points satisfy the condition!"

[Later when i was discussing this with my cousin , he told me that i could have shown the first curve itself. Damn, so true!. oh! by the way he is from IIT!]

VOP:"OK.. one last graph, Draw a graph which has one point whose first derivative is zero and one another point whose second derivative is zero."

I could have effectively merged the two above curves but was thinking of something else..

VOP:"Alright let me give you a hint.. have you heard of S-curves?"

I drew an S-curve on the paper and figured it out and smiled.

VOP:"Now show me the points whose first derivative is zero"

I showed him.

VOP:"And second derivative zero"

Showed him that also.

VOP(with a smile):"You have to be told everything!. Todays generation" And gives a sigh!.

All the professors again laugh for one last time and nod at each other.

OLP:"Alright.. Take a toffee!"

IIMA has a very unique culture of offering a toffee to every student at the end of the interview. Before the interview i had thought of preserving it but i dont know how i forgot and just gobbled it.

Came out of the room and the guy next to me gave an inquisitive look at me. I smiled and walked off!.

Oh if you still remember the Maths-4 thing , i did pull it off.